I have always thought that it is my madness that made me who I am. What if you lose this thing that defines you? What if you cannot find this thing that makes you stand out of the crowd?
I feel like I am becoming another person. People say that. Actually, I am getting to feel like I am changing too. I am getting to lose my spontaneity. I am losing my edgy maniac spirit. I slow down before I act or speak. What is that? What is going on inside of me? What shall I become?
I am feeling like I am old man who does everything after thorough thinking. Of course my teenage little mind made me go through a great deal. I lost many great people by my foolishness and childishness. However, it was the same foolishness and childishness that got me into troubles.
Will I prefer having an edge to being sane?
If being sane will make me see things clearly, I surely want to be sane. If being mature will make me see through people, I do not want to lose my mind. If being sane will make me cherish things that I already have, I would pray asking God to enlighten my way.
God, make me different in some other way.
