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"J'ecris pour me decouvrir."- a French writer

Friday, December 28, 2012

My Only Source of Pride in 2012

That's my only source of pride in 2012. God knows that there were so many things I wanted to achieve, but I could only make this come true :)

http://sansretouches.com/

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Teenage Wish

One of those moments when I feel like the old girl; a teenage with silly dreams and innocent wishes.

An old French song and soft rhythm can sum it all up..... No fuss, no complexities... just pure simple and honest love :) I dunno what's with my passion for French songs but they just make everything appear so surreal and serene. It makes me visualize a whole different era, where lovers used to write letters, people appeared to be careless and free and things seemed easy.



Friday, December 14, 2012

Back to Back


Today, I will vote against the so-called constitution, hoping that most Egyptians will do the same. It's almost 2 years now after Jan 25th. Back then, I was filled with terror, fear of the unknown, pride and absolute courage. I have not participated in the protests as my family won't let me, but watching the events so closely, I was amazed by what young people can do.

After two years, all of my emotions have swept away except of terror. I remember on February 12th 2011, I wrote on Facebook saying "begad te3ebt men kotr el tafkeer :S Euff!". A Lebanese acquaintance, whom I could not stand for so many reasons, asked bluntly "What's wrong? You should be celebrating?" referring to the fact that I should be happy that Mubarak was toppled. Feeling totally upset that a "non-Egyptian" was telling me about how I should feel just because she thought she knew it all about a country that she visits once or twice a year for mere fun, I was so harsh on her and explained that we all should be cautious of what's ahead of us and that we should not let our emotions and joy distract us from the things we want for our country.

Smart as she was, she felt the disdain in my comments, so she ended up saying; "Poor you, you are just not used to change." I could have ignored her "simple" comment, but I pushed it again saying:

"If by constant changes, u mean having police, and militia wandering the streets and protecting people and taking over policemen's roles, I guess u r right. We r not used to this. Coz we r used to stability. Even if, u don't regard such previous stability as a real one, coz of the despotic regime that used to prevail, i can argue that at least the down-trodden classes had the privilege of wandering the streets trying to earn a living."

She didn't reply back. But, now, when I remember that conversation, it feels totally weird. On the one hand, my acquaintance was right about the fact that Egyptians were not used to change and I was right too about my fears. However, I guess that I owe someone an apology or is it that "we" as Egyptians owe ourselves an apology when we just could not protect something precious like the revolution. 

In the past two years, many storms have swept away Egypt and everyone's life here. My ideas are random and unorganized, but I'm just sad about what's happening now with Egyptians more than ready to kill fellow Egyptians who just disagree with their opinions.

May God bless this country!
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Sunday, November 25, 2012

Just for the Record


For so long, I wanted to reach this point and finally I got what I want and deserve. I’m happy, satisfies and serene. All that hocus pocus and contemplations about not getting what I want or who I want is finally OVER. I’m saying it out loud not as a trial to silence the doubts inside of me. On the contrary, I’m documenting this as a reminder in case I triple again to the big black hole of sadness and boredom.

Finally, it occurred to me that it doesn’t matter having what or who you want as long as you have what you need. For so long, I have been wondering whether I was good enough for someone, for some job or for some better socioeconomic status, and I have been missing the whole point! It’s not that I wasn’t good enough; actually it was the other way round. Some people and things are too small for my aspirations which I may seem to forget sometimes.

Thank you God for You have always chosen the right path for me. 

Sunday, October 14, 2012

أحيه!

امبارح حد كان بيحكيلي عن تجربة عاطفية مر بيها، مش عارفة ايه خلاه يحكيلي بس ما علينا! بعد ما سمعت الحكاية مقدرتش أبطل ضحك وبكل تلقائية لقتني عمالة أضحك قدامه لحد ما الولد اتحرج تقريباً....

يمكن ضميري أنبني بعد كدة لما ضحكت وكسفته بس الموضوع بيفكرني بنفسي أيام المراهقة اللي مكانتش من بعيد قوي :D المهم قولت له رأيي كالعادة بكل صراحة.... ومتأكدة من إني وجعته بكلامي بس أعمل ايه مش قصدي :) بس ساعات تحب الناس يفوقوا من أوهام عايشين ومعذبين نفسهم بيها.

المهم وبعيد عن الضحك الهستيري بتاع امبارح، قعدت افكر كدة بهدوء وقلت "أحيييه" 

هي الناس في مصر وصلت للمرحلة دي إزاي؟ مش بس طايشين وتلاقي علاقات بتبتدي في 5 دقايق وتخلص في دقيقة واتنين كانوا ولهانين وفجأة بيلعنوا في بعض.... لأ الرجالة بقوا Cool قوي.... والبنات بقوا Much Cooler

يا دي النيلة... مش هعرف أكمل النوت المعفرتة عشان لو صديقي اياه قراها حيزعل قوي

هما كلمتين كانوا خانقني وكنت عايزة أقولهم!


Thursday, October 11, 2012

Me in 40!

Just had this crazy thought about how I will look like when I reach the big 40! I don't know whether I will make it to that age or not, but the idea is just too juicy for me. That's 16 years from now. Wow! That's a long time to go, right? Many things seem uncertain these days; my job, my friendships, my relationships.... Hmm, I won't let this disappoint me.

Here are two scenarios:

First: I will grow older with a nice husband with gorgeous children and my career won't be so prosperous, but I will be happy or so I'd like to believe. I will travel all around the world with him, meet new people, try new stuff and take infinite number of photos. I will tell my kids about their mom used to be and allow them to as many exotic experiences as possible.

Second: I will grow older on my own and will keep on my activities and trials to create a business on my own. Who knows? I might become a top notch entrepreneur-ess after all. I guess I will be a bit frustrated that I ended up without a family of my own, but by then I will try looking for the bright side.

Two distinct scenarios and I refuse to think of other stories!

Hmm, I know for sure that when I'm 40 and re read that post, millions of things that have not crossed my mind right now will happen and shake my world and alter my fragile scenarios. 16 years ago, I lived in a total different place, had different old friends whom I hardly remember, had a baby crush on my hunky teenage neighbor and was surrounded by so many people whom I truly miss.

Now, I'm 24. Let's see what I have become to. I have dozens of "friends" but can only trust a few, surrounded by a handful of people for whom I pray everyday asking God not to make them leave, have a somewhat good job, go to the best places in town yet always feel that something or someone is missing....etc.

If you had asked that little 8- year old girl about how she would be when she is 24? She would have had a completely different scenario.

We only tend to write our own scenarios, but God has always some better plans for us.

If I want to be certain about anything, I would hope that I keep on dancing my way through life, have the guts to say what I think and believe in, keep on searching for happiness and success for when we reach them, we don't realize that we actually did, have that big loud laugh of mine and have the power to run away whenever I feel that I need to.

:)

Monday, October 8, 2012

For what you've become....

Today, I was about to lose one of my oldest and best friends. She was standing there as agonized as ever, till she could not take it anymore and fell down. I could sense that death angel, that little bastard sneaking around and I could not move a limb. Was I getting too familiar with the scene? Have I become so used to the idea of having people leave in a blink of an eye? That all went through my God damned little mind after watching her slowly fading away.

I kept on reciting few Quranic verses trying to calm her down, or was I preparing her to meet her fate? It's hard to tell. I guess it was a deja vu after all. Luckily, God has granted me some of his mercy that night. She slowly came back to her senses and regained her consciousness. "That was close, Noha" I thought to myself and rushed into my room after storming the huge door. Once again, God was too merciful with me, the glass in the door did not break into pieces as I expected quickly. I opened my laptop, pretended that nothing happened, tried to check out my FB, Twitter, email and all that tech shit, put on my headphones, turned on the music.... turned it higher and higher, what was I trying to avoid?- I had no freaking idea. Some friend found me online and started talking. Being in that shitty situation, it was too hard for me to handle anything, I just stared at the screen, said nothing and burst into tears.

That's when I realized something has died inside of me..............

Friday, September 14, 2012

أول مرة.....

لسة كنت بفكر امبارح إن نشوة إنك تعمل حاجة لأول مرة متتقدرش بتمن، مش بس عشان تحس إنك بتعمل حاجة جديدة وتكسر بيها الروتين... لأ، بس عشان صعب إنك تنبهر بحاجة. أنا فاكرة كويس إني لما كنت طفلة، الكبار دول بالنسبة لي كانوا زي نجوم السينما، أشكال مختلفة.... أتعلم منهم حاجة أو حركة أو حتى كلمة جديدة. وشوش كانت بتضحك قدامي أو تبتسم عشان مجرد إني أضحك ويبهروني، مكانوش عارفين إنهم مش محتاجين يعملوا نفسهم بهلوانات قدامي لإني كنت بالفعل مسحورة بالعالم بتاعهم.

قعدت أفكر وأسرح في الذكريات الجميلة والبسيطة اللي كانت بتفرحني.....

لسة فاكرة أول مرة بابا أخدني فيها السينما مع أخويا، كانت سينما أمير في إسكندرية واتفرجنا على فيلم كرتون مش فاكراه...ز سينما أمير كانت أحسن سينما في الوقت ده. دلوقتي بعدي قدامها وبخاف أدخلها عشان مبقتش زي الأول، خدمة رديئة.... مفيش نظافة كافية والتذاكر بقت رخيصة بالنسبة للي موجود دلوقتي، بالعربي جمهورها مبقاش محترم زي زمان!

وبرده فاكرة إني في نفس اليوم اللي رحت في السينما ده، رحت جنينة الحيوانات وقعدت أأكل الفيل أبو زلومة والزرافة اللي لسة كأني شايفاها قدامي!

فاكرة أول مرة أمي ودتني مع أخويا مكتبة عامة، كانت في النادي! مكناش عارفين نتعامل في المكان الهادي النضيف ده، سحبنا كتب مش فاهمين بتقول ايه وقعدنا شوية وبعدين مشينا من غير ما نرجع الكتب لمكانها، أمي لما عرفت فضلت تأنب فينا وطلعنا اعتذرنا لأمينة المكتبة اللي كانت رقيقة قوي...

فاكرة أول مرة، بابا جه وقالي وهو منفعل "إنتي بطلتي تقري ليه؟؟؟؟ هو عشان كبرتي على ميكي وعلاء الدين، مش هتقري خلاص؟" وجابلي بعدها "حول العالم في 200 يوم".... كتاب ضخم بالنسبة لبنت عندها 11 سنة بس سحرني وقعدت طول أجازة الصيف أقرأ فيه وأنا بحلم باليوم اللي أسافر فيه اليابان :)

فاكرة أول مرة خرجت مع صاحبتي أتفسح من غير حد كبير يكون معانا، كنا في العجمي في الوقت ده واتفقنا نروح البيطاش.... كانت مكان "روش" في الوقت ده، محلات كتير وزحمة! جو مثالي لأي مراهقة... كنت رفيعة قوي الوقت ده، لما بشوف صوري أقول "أنا كنت أنفع عارضة أزياء" وأضحك.....

فاكرة أول مرة أكلت فيها McDonald's وكنت هرجع أصلاً، مكانش عاجبني خالص.... سبحان الله ع الإدمان اللي بقيت فيه!

فاكرة لما مكانش فيه الموبايل ده، كنت بمشي أدور في الشوارع على كابينة الميناتل عشان أكلم البيت أو حد من صحابي...

فاكرة برده أول مرة جبت فيها الموبايل وكنت فرحانة بيه قوي، كان على قد حاله وكان هدية... قعد معايا أكتر من 4 سنين... واحد صاحبي شافه قعد يتريق عليه ويضحك، ساعتها اتحرجت قوي وأصريت إني أحوش وأجيب واحد تاني، وحصل! بس دلوقتي بخبط دماغي في الحيط لإني مكنتش عارفة قيمة الموبايل، كان عليه ذكريات حلوة وكان بيفكرني بالشخص اللي جابهولي...

فاكرة أول مرة وقفت على مسرح المدرسة، كان عندي 5 سنين، كنت خايفة قوي وقعدت أدور على ماما عشان مكنتش شايفاها قدامي... الوضع مختلفش كتير، لسة برتعش ولسة بخاف!

فاكرة أول مرة مسكت قلم الروج بتاع ماما من وراها وحطيت منه ومسحته، هي طبعاً عرفت لما لقته مكسور، وكانت علقة محترمة!

فاكرة أول مسابقة رقص اشتركت فيها وكسبتها، كان عندي 12 سنة تقريباً، وكسبت الجايزة الأولي اللي كانت فطيرة مشلتتة **مسخرة، أنا عارفة** :D

فاكرة أول مرة حد قالي فيها "أنا معجب بيكي" كنت طايرة من الفرحة ساعتها، دلوقتي من كتر ما سمعتها، بقيت ابتسم ابتسامة صفرا وأرد بكل هدوء وأقول Merci وأكمل اللي كنت بعمله عادي ولا كأني سمعت حاجة :)

فاكرة أول فلوس أكسبها، كانوا 150 جنيه عشان ترجمت كام ورقة.... أخدت الفلوس ومشيت في الشارع كأني ملكة وبقيت خايفة ليقعوا مني ولا يتسرقوا... 150 جنيه يا جدعان!! 

فاكرة أول مرة اتنشرت قصة باسمي في مجلة غالباً محدش بيقراها... بس يوميها تخيلت إني ممكن في يوم أبقى كاتبة مشهورة وأكسب جايزة نوبل......

......................................................................................................................


Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Random!

Usually, my posts are random and are hard to predict. Today, I am happy. The next day, I am so freaking angry for some reason or because of someone. This post is just another random post gathering all my random ideas. I have just been discovering new things in people I have known for quite well. Have they changed? Or is it me who has changed and can see everything now clearly? Hmmm...

One of the newest discoveries is that sometimes people are just angry deep inside and instead of pouring out their ideas whether to a friend or like what I do and write my mind off, they just tend to bottle everything up, seclude themselves in a tiny dark dull cocoon. Instead of feeling better, they just grow angrier, sadder and more judgmental. For example, I have been dealing for a long while with the so-called "religious" fellas in Egypt, whether they are bearded, wearing Niqab or long Hijab, whether they have praying mark engraved on their dry foreheads or bragging every now and then about their Quran lessons. I have met them, all!

They have all belonged to different backgrounds, but most of them shared one single thing. ANGER! Unsmiling face with the tendency to bark at anyone saying or doing something against their "holly" principles.

"Is it their exaggerated and sometimes fake passion for religion that makes them behave in such an uncool way?" I thought once, till my own same mind struck me with a bizarre observation. "What is it that makes them think that they have the right to judge whether this is right or wrong?"

ًDo you know who you really are Ms. or Mr.? Just a sad little person with a lost soul who cannot find your way in life, what you're good at or what you want to become. So, religion was only your own sanctuary. It's an easy way out, right? Recite a few verses, pray 5 times a day, fast Ramadan and change a little about your appearance only to feel that you are respected or at least to convince yourself that you are better off than everyone else and thus you should be treated respectfully.

Am I right Monsieur or Madame "Religion is my way out"?


Thursday, September 6, 2012

You're Beautiful!

Was just showing a friend of mine my latest post on Sans Retouches, then she struck me with the weirdest comment ever. She did not comment on the content or the topic itself, but at first she made a remark about the photos. For I know very well that she is a devout Muslim, I thought that the photos were too revealing or something of that sort. I had to check again the post, but still I could not find something that you might see as "off putting" in the photos. Finally, she spitted it out, saying; "The model is too beautiful. I feel ugly looking at her!"

For a moment, I felt guilty. In a way, I sensed that she was feeling uncomfortable, so I said right away; "Oh come on! Honey, she is a MODEL.... Don't you get it? She's paid to look that way. Do you believe that she looks like that in real life? Hell no! There is a lot of photo-shopping that goes into the whole process."

She nodded awkwardly just to get over that whole trivial situation. Many ideas started beating inside my head at that moment.

"Am I conveying the right messages through my posts on the blog?"

"Are people getting more inspired when flipping through my mag/blog or do they feel constantly discontent about their images?"

"Do people have enough self-esteem?" I guess this is the right question!

Supposedly, my friend is a religious girl. By "religious" I mean the Egyptian definition of the "Religiousness"; a veiled girl with decent attitude and manners, conservative mind, prays five times a day.....etc.

Seems like a good definition? Maybe, but I have always thought that a truly religious person is someone who does not have to "look" or "sound" religious, as anyone can do the part right. But, I guess that feeling content, serene and satisfied is just a surreal stage that only a few can reach. You could be Miss Universe, but still feel uncomfortable. On the contrary, you might feel that you are the most beautiful girl on Earth. Well, it's just problematic how people tend to see themselves, and how they STRIVE to make themselves feel distressed!

Well, I guess that my friend feels better now! That's all I can say for the time being :)

Thursday, June 14, 2012

المؤامرة 3

وبعد أكثر من 6 شهور بعد ما كتبت أول بوست عن نظرية المؤامرة، اليوم الموافق 14 يونيو 2012 وبعد صدور قرار المحكمة الدستورية العليا بحل ثلث البرلمان (أول برلمان حر انتخبه شعب مصر ما بعد ثورة يناير) بناء على حيثيات لا أعرفها ولا أفهمها وبطلان قانون العزل السياسي، اكتشفت اليد الخفية اللي كانوا قارفين بيها الشعب.

إخواني، احنا بأخلاقنا وبمبادئنا اللي عايزة تترمي في الزبالة اليد الخفية :) إحنا اللي كنا عاملين مؤامرة على نفسنا بس مكناش واخدين بالنا.....

تباً وسحقاً لدي بلد!

Thursday, February 23, 2012

Sorry.... I'm Not Sorry Anymore

Well, it is the letter I have always wanted to write and never had the chance to. For years, I thought that I speak too much, made myself too clear and said it all. Well, I sometimes do. I have a big mouth, but no one, including myself, know exactly what's on my mind.

For a long while, I have underestimated myself. I talk too much about what I want, what I dream about to the extent that one of my ex friends called me "selfish". But, with all this blah blah non stop self-propaganda, I have underestimated myself. Maybe, everyone was able to see the real capable me. Maybe, I have been blinded by all those things I have wanted and not capable of doing or achieving till I lost track of what I am really able to do.

This little confidence and poor self esteem has made me think that I am not good enough for many people, while they were not daring or even sure enough to hold on to me. For months or even years, I thought that I owed loads of people an apology while they really were not worth me looking back to them.

This time, I am writing to take back any "Sorry" I have ever said to many people and on many incidents. To my dear ex friend who let go of me that easily without asking why I left, I am not sorry anymore. For my dear friend who has been watching me for a while without even trying to ask "How are you doing?" or "Why did you leave?", I just want to tell you that while I was thinking that I was such a lousy person for drifting apart, you were just not that keen on our past friendship and turned up to be lousier than I was.

Goodbye my dear ex-friend.... and sorry, this time I am not Sorry anymore.

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

In Every Woman's Life.....

In every woman's life, there comes a man who makes her believe that she is better off on her own.

In every woman's life, there comes a so-called friend who would take any little chance to stab her in the back.

In every woman's life, there come some mindless women who would try convincing her that a woman's greatest achievement is tying the knot.

In every woman's life, there comes a wish from random little people hoping that she would get married when all she needs is finding true love.

In every woman's life, there comes a person who would do his best to put a label on her as if she is commodity.

In every woman's life, there comes a point when she wonders whether she is good enough, till she steps into a little incident where she becomes fully convinced that the reason why she didn't have it all is just because some things and people are not good enough to get her.

In every woman's life, there comes the time when she feels all tired and worn out to the extent that she would be ready more than ever to leave it all behind her, hit the road, run away from everything and everyone and start all over again to just feel alive once again.

In every woman's life, there comes a chance where she would never care about how crazy she might look and would bark at everyone just to show them how fed up she really is.

In every woman's life, there comes a difficult stage when she learns the hard way that love does not always mean "Happily ever after!"

In every woman's life, there comes a point where those around her would try to shut her up trying to tell her that only indecent women speak up their minds.

In every woman's life, there comes a point when she is scarred for life by a simple single word that she uttered somewhere before someone who was waiting for so long to find the right stereotype for her.


My Childhood Friend

Childhood friends are your biggest treasure. They are the only people who can look at you and see your good and bad side at the same time. They can value your best features and respect your flaws. They are the only people who can understand where you came from, what you have been through and who you are right now, no matter how life changes you. They are the only people who would look at you when you are faking happiness and wisdom and know how much you are hurt and suffering. You can bluff the world, but you can't bluff your childhood friends. They are the only people who would clear their schedule to have a little chat, no matter how trivial it could be, but just because you need it.

On Valentine's Day, I have found no lover, no good friend, but you my childhood friend. Thank you my dear for lighting up my life every single time we meet up. You just make me believe once again that goodness is still available in this cheap world.

Monday, January 30, 2012

خير الكلام



لا تعاشر نفسا شبعت بعد جوع فإن الخير فيها دخيل..
وعاشر نفسا جاعت بعد شبع فإن الخير فيها أصيل ...
اغلق أذانك إذا كنت لا تستطيع إغلاق أفواه الاخرين ...
فالاحتـرام فــن ليـس كل من تعلمه أتقنــه ...
والمال يجلب لك أصدقاء المصلحة ...
والجمال يجلب لك أصدقاء الشهوة ..
أما الأخلاق فتجلب لك أصدقاء العمـر ,,,

My Hijab... My Choice

Almost 10 years ago, I decided to wear Hijab. I remember the first day I told my parents about my decision and their reaction was surprising at the time. They were totally against it when I felt no shame in it whatsoever. I knew exactly that they were just concerned that I was too young and would take it off at anytime I want. They thought that I saw that Hijab was the new hot thing, or even worse and I was just fascinated by those new Imams or Duah who were all over Egypt at the time preaching young people about Hijab, prayers....etc, things that now I believe are truly superficial and won't make a difference if your heart is not full of belief, love and purity.

I still remember how I was fully convinced with my decision back then. I still remember that I was the first among my friends who decided to wear it right after my 14th birthday. I still remember how I lost loads of friends right after it, when they thought I would be a new female "Sheikh".

Now, I believe that that decision back then was one of the strongest decision I have ever made. I realize now that I was strong enough to make a life altering decision at such young age when none of those around me gave me the support I longed for. I still remember the first day I put it on and wore my school uniform and stared at myself in the mirror and thought that I was way less attractive, but then I told myself "So what?"

Maybe, my hijab was not so proper according to many people, but in those 10 years, I have learnt a great deal of things. On the spiritual level, I am still working on myself. I know I am still weak, but I hoping to be better and working on this. However, throughout those 10 years, I have learnt what responsibility is. I have chosen Hijab and I am sticking to it. Sometimes, I have doubts about it like any doubts anyone can have about anything in life. But, I make sure that my doubts are valid before I take any decision I might regret.

Today, a dear friend of mine has shared with me her decision to take off her veil after wearing it for 7 years. I am not convinced with the reasons and believe that she might regret it later on. But for you my dear, you have my total support, I wish I had had before 10 years ago.

Best of luck, my dear friend.

Sunday, January 29, 2012

Sometimes....

My crazy moments!

Sometimes I don't wanna hear your pretty little romantic stories, as it reminds me of how lonely I am.

Sometimes, I don't want anyone pointing at my flaws, I am very aware of my own awful flaws.

Sometimes, I act crazy and say loads of bull shit that I truly believe in, but all I need is lame support from people even if it's a lame stupid smile. I know that you will never believe in my thoughts, but that fake support works, sometimes!

Sometimes, I build up walls and complicate simple things, just to see if people are willing enough to understand.

Sometimes, I want people, even strangers, to give me hope and say "Everything is going to be okay."

Sometimes, I want people I care for to sense it when I feel the blues and ask me "What's wrong?"

Sometimes, I want old friends popping out of nowhere and say"Hey there, we should meet up," and take the trouble of clearing their busy schedule to actually see me.

Sometimes, I want people to be creative and go beyond their limited imagination and surprise me. I love surprises.

Sometimes, I am overwhelmed by that fake strength that many people show.

Sometimes, I want to hear about others's vulnerability. It makes me believe that some people are still humane.

Sometimes, I say things I never mean. Why do I say them? I have no damned idea!

Sometimes, I talk to myself.

Sometimes, I create stories in my head loaded with love and optimism. But, I do my best not to believe them and get back to the stupid reality.

Sometimes, I cry in random places. In bed, in the movies, below my shades and among people, but I am too smart to show it.

Sometimes, I wanna leave it all... the job, the house, the family and friends and run away. Where to? I am still trying to figure it out.

Sometimes, I feel no shame in talking about my personal issues in public like what I am doing now. Seriously, I don't care.

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

يلعن الغربة وسنينها!

النهاردة حسيت بس قد ايه أنا محظوظة إني عايشة في مصر، مش عشان عيد الثورة ولا عشان أنا إيجابية بزيادة، بالعكس أنا شايفة إن في حاجات كتير متطمنش وخايفة برضه من بكرة، بس عندي إيمان إن البلد حتقف على رجلها من تاني زي ما وقفت مليون مرة قبل كدة!

محظوظة إني مصرية عشان مش عارفة أكون غير مصرية... قابلت كتير من جنسيات مختلفة وقابلت برضه مصريين ياما عايشين برة ونسوا إنهم مصريين بجد، بقوا مسخ ملوش معالم لا مصري ولا أجنبي متعرفلوش ملة ولا دين...

كنت زمان بقول مفيش مستقبل غير برة مصر، دلوقتي مقتنعة تماماً إن مفيش مستقبل غير في مصر.

لو حشحت جوة بلدي يبقى أرحم من إني أكون مليونيرة بس من جوايا شخص مشوه وعايش برة بلده بيحلم باليوم اللي يرجع بلده عشان يدفن فيها...

الحمد لله على إني مصرية

Saturday, January 14, 2012

As Cold As It Gets!

God dam it! One of those days when climate change is being at its worst and we are shivering like never before. It has been snowing in Alexandria a couple of days ago. Maybe this would give you an idea of what we are through right now.

Woke up today very late after a very sad conversation with a friend. I could not sleep till very late after I had read another sad short story with a heroine under my name. LOL! I thought to myself that macrocosm is being mean to me.

Then, it seems that I could not get enough of the sadness and sorrow I had yesterday and decided to add to it more fire. Now, I have ruined a lot of good things. My fingers are about to fall off from the icy weather and my brain is about to shut off from the lame negative regretting thoughts.

Merde!

Friday, January 6, 2012

It's Not Just a Dress!



As many of you know I have started blogging about Fashion recently, and that has made people wonder about the reasons made me do so, especially I have not been known as a Fashion Diva of any sort. Well, it hit me one day when I was surfing many groups on Facebook of young creative women who decided to pursue their passions and do something different. Whether they are photographers, designers or artists, many women have started their own businesses producing unique stuff of a great quality and for reasonable prices. 

I found the idea absolutely great especially that we, in Egypt, are not that productive people despite our massive consuming power. When you visit any mall now, you find all kinds of foreign brands that are usually too expensive and not necessarily of a great value. Not only did we stop producing for our own consumption, but we unconsciously decided to drop our own culture. There is a story behind every dress; it is not only about how you look, it's about what you stand for and symbolize. When we import a dress, we import a whole new culture and gradually forget about our own. When you see young women wearing hijab with skinny jeans and short tight tops, you know for sure that something is wrong. When people look like freaks and you can't tell what a certain outfit represents, it becomes clear that a change needs to be done.

A country like Egypt with its rich heritage and culture that brings about the beauty of other cultures; African, Middle Eastern, Arabic, Islamic, Coptic, Midetarranean, and Ancient Egyptian, has certainly what it takes to stir a lot of creativity and can be a real potential for creating our own trends not just in fashion but in any field of life and even in our mentalities. 

When we import clothes or various products, we also adopt different, new and not necessarily good values. When you decide to buy a sweater and go to H&M for instance (a place where you absolutely guarantee that all products are foreign and a place that is considered as a must go for people from different classes in other countries like the UK), you can see that a lot of girls would face a problem when buying especially when it comes to sizes and prices, for instance. The fabrics themselves are different. In winter, you can find either too heavy coats with furs that you would think are good for places or other people as the Eskimos. Even when we decide to import, we do so without taking into consideration whether those imported goods will suit us or not. Instead of making our own products and satisfying our increasing needs ourselves, we decided to become mere consumers who are not even strong enough to control what they pay fortunes for.

A shame, right?

Thus, I have been amazed by those designers and artists and decided that I should do something as well to help especially that many of them have started working on reviving our forgotten heritage and feature some young creative people whom I run into whether in real life or on Facebook. 

Now, that Sans Retouches blog has grossed about 1900 followers in just 4 months, I have been overwhelmed and inspired a great deal by people's support and absolute creativity.

Thanks everyone for your support even if you have visited my blog for one time only. You have made me believe strongly that this blog might grow indeed and help feature other young talented people who seek support, publicity and surely customers :)

Cheers!

Dream a Little Dream of Me...