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"J'ecris pour me decouvrir."- a French writer

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Confessions 1

I have created my own world with the spirit of a child, where everything seems big and fantastic. Human beings, those gigantic creatures, do not upset me with their clumsy follies. On the contrary, they make me wonder, question everything around me and make me feel that there are many things I need to learn.

By time, I have realized that keeping the child inside me helps me in this cruel coarse world. I spend my days with eyes wide open. I pass through the same streets every day, and every time I discover something new not because something new pops up on each new day, but because that childish perspective helps me discover constantly something that others seem to miss.

When I recall my childhood, it seems like a realm of dreams that are incessant, colorful and magical. Everybody was smiling and cheerful back then. No matter what I do, someone would hold me tenderly and say everything is going to be okay. Someone would wipe my tears when they start dropping on my soft cheeks. They will speak to me calmly in a tender tone as not to hurt my feelings. I miss those days. That is why I wanted to keep that memory alive.

I have wanted my life to be colorful, interesting and magical. But, I have realized that if I want to keep that child spirit, people have lost their innocence. I have realized that when I cry, no one would wipe my tears. When I make a mistake, no one would hold me closely and tell me that things are going to be fine. Unfortunately, I have realized….

To Be Continued…

Monday, May 16, 2011

A Truce

I just cannot believe that I had all of those incidents and met all of those people in one single year or even less. Yea, being active is good, but my life is getting to be chaotic. "No" has a wonderful effect. Thus, I guess I will try it more often.

I do not need any new relationships. I don't need extra work. I am good the way I am and my life is okay.

I have realized that life is like a building that loses its beauty and composure by time. If you want to have new floors, you need to reform that old building, so that it won't collapse when you try to add something new.

I got to rebuild my life. I got to have a truce with my frail self.