For setting the mood, I would play some Dido songs. There is something about her music that makes me feel that I am somewhere else away from the whole busy materialistic world. Her voice just takes me on a subtle tour to some serene place where everyone is wearing light sheer clothing, moving their bodies shamelessly feeling cheerful and carefree.
Sounds like my perfect gateway! That is what I really want. A place, a deserted island sounds fine, with nothing but the sea, sand and some trees. I will not miss those I love as they will always be on my mind, I guess. A CD player with some of my favorite CDs, good books and I won the lottery indeed.
As for the one, bear with me. My dream is still on. I can visualize a small fishing boat, with the following song in the background by Bobby Darin singing:
Somewhere beyond the sea...
Somewhere waiting for me...
My lover stands on golden sand..
And watch the ships that go sailing
Then he lays his eyes on me through his binoculars and he knows from sure that I am his princess.
Sounds silly, I know, but only in dreams you can be as silly as ever.
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
سطور أعجبتني
"لو بطلنا نحلم.... نموت": محمد منير
"الحزن سرطان الروح. وأنت كنت العلاج الكيماوي. تقتل السرطان وتقضي على الكثير من الحياة معه. وأنا قررت التوقف عن تناولك ومقاومة سرطاني بنفسي. لقد أكلت من روحي أكثر مما أكل السرطان بكثير.": نرمين نزار من مدونة إسكندرية بيروت
Shakespeare :"Love is not love which alter, when it alteration finds."
To Be Continued.....
Will You Marry Me?
Just a tough thought, you need to bear with me. What if we turn things around and girls can actually propose to guys? I am not talking about dating or expressing emotions, I am talking about PROPOSAL. Yes, marriage proposal.
Just think of it this way, we, girls, seem to be fond of intriguing mysteries and tormenting ourselves with making assumptions and hypothesis. So, why can't we cut long stories short. If a girl likes a certain person (obviously a male) and they start talking, knowing each other in a better way and they end up hanging out for a while without him saying anything whatsoever about his feelings or where that obvious thing going on is heading after a while, is it possible for a girl to pop the question?
I wonder what would really happen. Would a guy think that she is too clingy or bold? So what? I have male acquaintances, whether they are family, casual friends or colleagues and they all know for sure, and even mock, our "indirect" gestures and hints of girls' desire to get married. So they know what is going on inside our minds, and they play fool, while we are playing dumb in the first place. Sounds like Tom & Jerry series for me.
Then, can we all sum things up and save ourselves the trouble of being in a constant hunting process? Can we, girls, behave in a straightforward manner for even once and speak up our minds and say what is going on and what is always roaming inside our heads?
Let us try for once and see what might happen. Well, if you do it and the guy responds well, then good for you. If he thinks that you are too bold just for speaking up your mind, then to hell with him, honey. You have saved yourself a lot of time. If you scare him off, then it is also good for you. That type usually does not want any kind of responsibility.
Give it a try and good luck!
Just think of it this way, we, girls, seem to be fond of intriguing mysteries and tormenting ourselves with making assumptions and hypothesis. So, why can't we cut long stories short. If a girl likes a certain person (obviously a male) and they start talking, knowing each other in a better way and they end up hanging out for a while without him saying anything whatsoever about his feelings or where that obvious thing going on is heading after a while, is it possible for a girl to pop the question?
I wonder what would really happen. Would a guy think that she is too clingy or bold? So what? I have male acquaintances, whether they are family, casual friends or colleagues and they all know for sure, and even mock, our "indirect" gestures and hints of girls' desire to get married. So they know what is going on inside our minds, and they play fool, while we are playing dumb in the first place. Sounds like Tom & Jerry series for me.
Then, can we all sum things up and save ourselves the trouble of being in a constant hunting process? Can we, girls, behave in a straightforward manner for even once and speak up our minds and say what is going on and what is always roaming inside our heads?
Let us try for once and see what might happen. Well, if you do it and the guy responds well, then good for you. If he thinks that you are too bold just for speaking up your mind, then to hell with him, honey. You have saved yourself a lot of time. If you scare him off, then it is also good for you. That type usually does not want any kind of responsibility.
Give it a try and good luck!
Saturday, September 24, 2011
أحبني لتعرف من أنا
مجموعة قصصية تحت عنوان "أحبني لتعرف من أنا" بقلم لبنى غانم وإيناس حليم صادر عن دار المصري للنشر والتوزيع، للأسف لسة مقرتش الكتاب، إنما بالصدفة لقيت مجموعة الكتاب على الفيس بوك، العنوان جذب انتباهي جداً حسيت إنه عنوان حالم ورقيق وفيه شئ من الحقيقة.
"ياللي ظلمتوا الحب وقلته وعدته عليه" صوت أم كلثوم بيداعب أذني في الوقت الحالي وأنا بفكر في عنوان المجموعة القصصية دي، يعني دايماً نقول إن الحب أعمى ومراية الحب عميا والكلام ده كله، بس غير إن الحب من أسمى وأرق القيم الموجودة في حياتنا وبتخلينا نعيش، مش بس عشان بنحس إن إحنا مرغوبين ومش بس عشان بنحس إن في شخص قريب لينا، بس برضه عشان لما بنحب ولما بيكون حد بيحبنا، بنقدر نعرف أشياء كتير حلوة عن نفسنا وغيرنا بيعرف الأشياء دي عننا.
يعني مثلاً لو شخص عصبي ومكشر على طول ومضغوط من الحياة وكتوم، أكيد في مرحلة من حياته حيلاقي الحد اللي يعرف يخترق الغيامة دي، حد يعرف يفك طلاسم الشخصية الجامدة ويكون معاه مفتاحها. لما تحب حد، حسب اعتقادي عشان ممكن جداً أكون غلط، حتعرف ايه الحاجات الحلوة اللي فيه وهو برضه حيعرف حاجة كويسة عن نفسه. وبرضه لو حد بيحبك حيعرف كويس إنت مين، بعيد عن كل الرتوش اللي بنرسمها لشخصياتنا وبعيد عن كل المظاهر اللي الظروف ساعات كتير بتجبرنا إننا نتلون بيها، فالحب بيضعف المناعة وبيخلي الإنسان قريب من حقيقته الطبيعية، وأكيد لو حد بيحبك حيعرف ايه الكويس اللي فيك ومهما الناس شافتك من زاوية معينة، هو حيشوفك من الزاوية الصح، مش عارفة لو كلامي معقول أو لأ، بس هو ده اللي أنا شايفاه، صح أو غلط، الوقت هو اللي حيحكم.
عنوان جميل لمجموعة قصصية أتمنى إن يكون عندي الوقت إني أقراها،
سلام
"ياللي ظلمتوا الحب وقلته وعدته عليه" صوت أم كلثوم بيداعب أذني في الوقت الحالي وأنا بفكر في عنوان المجموعة القصصية دي، يعني دايماً نقول إن الحب أعمى ومراية الحب عميا والكلام ده كله، بس غير إن الحب من أسمى وأرق القيم الموجودة في حياتنا وبتخلينا نعيش، مش بس عشان بنحس إن إحنا مرغوبين ومش بس عشان بنحس إن في شخص قريب لينا، بس برضه عشان لما بنحب ولما بيكون حد بيحبنا، بنقدر نعرف أشياء كتير حلوة عن نفسنا وغيرنا بيعرف الأشياء دي عننا.
يعني مثلاً لو شخص عصبي ومكشر على طول ومضغوط من الحياة وكتوم، أكيد في مرحلة من حياته حيلاقي الحد اللي يعرف يخترق الغيامة دي، حد يعرف يفك طلاسم الشخصية الجامدة ويكون معاه مفتاحها. لما تحب حد، حسب اعتقادي عشان ممكن جداً أكون غلط، حتعرف ايه الحاجات الحلوة اللي فيه وهو برضه حيعرف حاجة كويسة عن نفسه. وبرضه لو حد بيحبك حيعرف كويس إنت مين، بعيد عن كل الرتوش اللي بنرسمها لشخصياتنا وبعيد عن كل المظاهر اللي الظروف ساعات كتير بتجبرنا إننا نتلون بيها، فالحب بيضعف المناعة وبيخلي الإنسان قريب من حقيقته الطبيعية، وأكيد لو حد بيحبك حيعرف ايه الكويس اللي فيك ومهما الناس شافتك من زاوية معينة، هو حيشوفك من الزاوية الصح، مش عارفة لو كلامي معقول أو لأ، بس هو ده اللي أنا شايفاه، صح أو غلط، الوقت هو اللي حيحكم.
عنوان جميل لمجموعة قصصية أتمنى إن يكون عندي الوقت إني أقراها،
سلام
Friday, September 23, 2011
A Birthday Queen
Yes, I am making a big deal of my birthday. But, give me a break! I am just trying to cling onto any cheerful opportunity or event to feel happy or get any glimpse of love.
On Monday, I was at work and told my colleagues that I will bring them Cannelloni, my specialty dish. They very much welcomed the idea and a friend said that she would bring some deserts too. I went home, stayed in the kitchen for almost 3 hours preparing the dish, but I was enjoying every second of it. On any other day, I would have felt exhausted, but I wanted this birthday to be different. I wanted to show people love, hoping that I might get more in return. Signed, sealed and the dish was about to be delivered to the hungry tasters.
So, Tuesday was the big day. I wore my favorite outfit, took some make up tools to office preparing myself for any after-work hangout with friends. I was a bit self conscious with almost everyone in street staring at me. Really, it was strange. I believe that my mojo was working that day ;) Walking down the street, I felt like Barbara Streisand in Funny Girl singing "Don't Rain on My Parade".
To cut a long story short, it was a magical day like I have never imagined. My friends brought in foods and most importantly their good spirits. It was like a feast with everyone cheering, laughing and singing for me. It was a true delight my lovely friends. I love each one of you. And for the after work party, it was warm and nice.
Thanks guys for making up my day and giving me hope that this year will be full of love and happiness.
Lotsa luv,
Noha
xoxox
On Monday, I was at work and told my colleagues that I will bring them Cannelloni, my specialty dish. They very much welcomed the idea and a friend said that she would bring some deserts too. I went home, stayed in the kitchen for almost 3 hours preparing the dish, but I was enjoying every second of it. On any other day, I would have felt exhausted, but I wanted this birthday to be different. I wanted to show people love, hoping that I might get more in return. Signed, sealed and the dish was about to be delivered to the hungry tasters.
So, Tuesday was the big day. I wore my favorite outfit, took some make up tools to office preparing myself for any after-work hangout with friends. I was a bit self conscious with almost everyone in street staring at me. Really, it was strange. I believe that my mojo was working that day ;) Walking down the street, I felt like Barbara Streisand in Funny Girl singing "Don't Rain on My Parade".
To cut a long story short, it was a magical day like I have never imagined. My friends brought in foods and most importantly their good spirits. It was like a feast with everyone cheering, laughing and singing for me. It was a true delight my lovely friends. I love each one of you. And for the after work party, it was warm and nice.
Thanks guys for making up my day and giving me hope that this year will be full of love and happiness.
Lotsa luv,
Noha
xoxox
Friday, September 16, 2011
The Infamous Big 22
A few days from now, I will be celebrating my 23rd birthday. Just not in the mood for any kind of celebrations. Wishes? If I have any, it would be me hoping that the upcoming year will be much more serene and happier as well. A year had passed by with loads of stress and heartbreaks. So, enough with the sorrows!
Happy birthday to me in advance!
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
And It's Called My Other "Half"
It's been the mating season this summer. Friends and family getting engaged or married. No big deal, I know. It is something that I have noticed recently with all my female friends getting recently engaged or those who got themselves in relationships. Whenever they find their other so-called significant "half", I feel that my friends are totally transformed.
It is not a single case. Hell no! It is the new plague or something like that spreading in no time among infatuated girls and only girls. Men are different. They do not get so absorbed in their relationships. To some extent, they keep on their individuality. Maybe it has to do with their own view of a relationship. I believe that men are not like women who think that finding the one is so important to the extent that most girls nowadays think of marriage, for example as a life or death situation that has to happen sooner or later. Men are not raised like that, especially in my society. I envy men in here. They are programmed to live first of all for themselves. They get their education, start their career and accomplish loads of successes, then comes marriage and commitment. "Here is a nice girl, am I ready?'a guy would ask himself. But when it comes to girls, it is the other way around. A normal woman would say whenever she meets a guy, "I am ready. Is he a nice guy?"
See? Here is the whole issue. We, women, are always ready and hanging "I am on the market" sign. Maybe it has to do with our nature as females needing passion and care, but it definitively has to do with the way many of us are brought up. How many parents raised a girl to live for herself first? How many times have you heard a girl saying "I will finish school then travel abroad to finish my studies," without mentioning the soul mate to-be as one of her top priorities. We are not used to loving ourselves. It is a shame, right?
You may disagree with me and it is your right. But what I see now of women losing their identities and becoming a distorted versions of their past souls and their current partners' mindsets, is very sad. I wish that one day, I would meet a friend of mine who has been in a relationship and who would still be the girl I knew a while ago. i wish that one day when I log into Facebook, I would see girls posting stuff that would speak for them not posts that their fiancees, husbands and boyfriends. I wish we, women, could learn for once how to love ourselves and learn that it's okay for once to keep our "resigning" individuality.
It is not a single case. Hell no! It is the new plague or something like that spreading in no time among infatuated girls and only girls. Men are different. They do not get so absorbed in their relationships. To some extent, they keep on their individuality. Maybe it has to do with their own view of a relationship. I believe that men are not like women who think that finding the one is so important to the extent that most girls nowadays think of marriage, for example as a life or death situation that has to happen sooner or later. Men are not raised like that, especially in my society. I envy men in here. They are programmed to live first of all for themselves. They get their education, start their career and accomplish loads of successes, then comes marriage and commitment. "Here is a nice girl, am I ready?'a guy would ask himself. But when it comes to girls, it is the other way around. A normal woman would say whenever she meets a guy, "I am ready. Is he a nice guy?"
See? Here is the whole issue. We, women, are always ready and hanging "I am on the market" sign. Maybe it has to do with our nature as females needing passion and care, but it definitively has to do with the way many of us are brought up. How many parents raised a girl to live for herself first? How many times have you heard a girl saying "I will finish school then travel abroad to finish my studies," without mentioning the soul mate to-be as one of her top priorities. We are not used to loving ourselves. It is a shame, right?
You may disagree with me and it is your right. But what I see now of women losing their identities and becoming a distorted versions of their past souls and their current partners' mindsets, is very sad. I wish that one day, I would meet a friend of mine who has been in a relationship and who would still be the girl I knew a while ago. i wish that one day when I log into Facebook, I would see girls posting stuff that would speak for them not posts that their fiancees, husbands and boyfriends. I wish we, women, could learn for once how to love ourselves and learn that it's okay for once to keep our "resigning" individuality.
Friday, September 9, 2011
A Life-changing Discovery
Yesterday, I have realized that I have been wasting so long of my life and it's time to move forward.
I have been consumed too much and tangled in a stupid mirage that kept my eyes away from the sweet reality I shall be living.
One more thing, I have discovered that I truly underestimate myself.
Bottom Line: I deserve way better than this :)
I have been consumed too much and tangled in a stupid mirage that kept my eyes away from the sweet reality I shall be living.
One more thing, I have discovered that I truly underestimate myself.
Bottom Line: I deserve way better than this :)
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
The One
"Somebody somewhere is thinking of you," I always try to remember this phrase whenever I get a loneliness trauma or think like any girl of my other half. That topic did not bother me much when I was younger. I can recall very well my college days, when I did not even have a make up set. I just had two pairs of jeans with a couple of tops and my clumsy pair of sneakers that I always put on. I used to save my polished looks just for my hangouts with friends, which were not frequent.
Boys were not even on my list of priorities. Whenever I heard of someone getting engaged or married, just a simple "Congratulations!" without bothering myself with insignificant details that are not of my business anyway. Yea, maybe when I ran into someone nice, I would think of the whole marriage and relationship thing, but when it came to features and my idea of my Prince Charming, I had absolutely no idea of what I wanted. "A nice guy who loves me," was my blunt answer back then.
So, what happened? I graduated and had to go through real life. To my surprise, I found many girls obsessed with the marriage idea, and people here and there talking about their past and current relationships, all the tricks to get someone entangled in your web of charms...,etc. For 2 years up till now, I have been listening to the same talks over and over again. "Did you know that Mariam got a Make Up artist on her wedding night for 2000 LE?" "Have a look at those engagement photos... Oh, I love the dress." "When will I get married? Why am I still single till now?" are some lines that I hear frequently to the extent that I have started to think and talk in the same manner.
By time I have realized that marriage has lost its sacred meaning of "happily ever after". Love is, for many people if not most of them, is one of the last priorities. Handsome, well-off with a good career path and a descendant of a good family are the common trending reasons why a man can be considered a good suitor. A friend who is married now told me once that when her husband told her back then that he was into her, she just said okay as she was too embarrassed to turn him down, then all of a sudden she discovered that she became "in love" with that poor guy.
When I asked another girlfriend of mine about whether or not she is in love with her fiancee, she shocked me saying, "I am 25 ya Noha, if I don't get married now, I will lose my chances to find someone else." I know that those two examples are extreme, and I also know that there are still many people who get married out of healthy reasons. But the sick notions and the superficial views are trending now.
Mom believes that my generation should not be intimidated by the whole marriage idea and fear that if it does not happen, our lives would come to an end. She thinks that we, girls, are now well-educated with loads of good opportunities ahead of us. She has a point, but what I see now is the absolute opposite.
Is it the way we were raised? Or is it a genuine innate urge inside each girl that makes her dream of that prince charming and that glamorous serene life to start on her own with her "significant" half? If so, then why not get married for the right reason instead of dying to get a ring on our index?
Boys were not even on my list of priorities. Whenever I heard of someone getting engaged or married, just a simple "Congratulations!" without bothering myself with insignificant details that are not of my business anyway. Yea, maybe when I ran into someone nice, I would think of the whole marriage and relationship thing, but when it came to features and my idea of my Prince Charming, I had absolutely no idea of what I wanted. "A nice guy who loves me," was my blunt answer back then.
So, what happened? I graduated and had to go through real life. To my surprise, I found many girls obsessed with the marriage idea, and people here and there talking about their past and current relationships, all the tricks to get someone entangled in your web of charms...,etc. For 2 years up till now, I have been listening to the same talks over and over again. "Did you know that Mariam got a Make Up artist on her wedding night for 2000 LE?" "Have a look at those engagement photos... Oh, I love the dress." "When will I get married? Why am I still single till now?" are some lines that I hear frequently to the extent that I have started to think and talk in the same manner.
By time I have realized that marriage has lost its sacred meaning of "happily ever after". Love is, for many people if not most of them, is one of the last priorities. Handsome, well-off with a good career path and a descendant of a good family are the common trending reasons why a man can be considered a good suitor. A friend who is married now told me once that when her husband told her back then that he was into her, she just said okay as she was too embarrassed to turn him down, then all of a sudden she discovered that she became "in love" with that poor guy.
When I asked another girlfriend of mine about whether or not she is in love with her fiancee, she shocked me saying, "I am 25 ya Noha, if I don't get married now, I will lose my chances to find someone else." I know that those two examples are extreme, and I also know that there are still many people who get married out of healthy reasons. But the sick notions and the superficial views are trending now.
Mom believes that my generation should not be intimidated by the whole marriage idea and fear that if it does not happen, our lives would come to an end. She thinks that we, girls, are now well-educated with loads of good opportunities ahead of us. She has a point, but what I see now is the absolute opposite.
Is it the way we were raised? Or is it a genuine innate urge inside each girl that makes her dream of that prince charming and that glamorous serene life to start on her own with her "significant" half? If so, then why not get married for the right reason instead of dying to get a ring on our index?
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