Panic Attack

A friend and I were talking yesterday about a topic that has always been a source of anxiety for everybody, men and women. We were talking about relationships. Well, it was me who was talking about that. Actually, my friend doesn't care much about that. She just wants to live like a free a bird without "burdens".

Well, to some extent I guess that she's somewhat right, especially when I see all of those heartbreaks and dilemmas that many couples experience nowadays. I have always been free like a bird. Not a single relationship, can you believe it? Oh, yeah. Not a single one, and I feel free.

Of course, sometimes, I want to find my other half. I don't wanna end up like an old angry spinster. I wanna enjoy my life to the extreme. I guess that we all want to. So, what is the problem? If I want someone to pat on my shoulder when I feel down and tell me, "Everything is gonna be fine," or "I'm here for you," where is the problem?

I guess it's me after all. Every time I feel that there is someone who might be slightly interested in knowing me better, I push him away.

I wasn't aware of that problem till very late, when you just sit by yourself all alone and begin the questioning phase.

Yes, I have a problem. Maybe this is due to fear. God! I have lost many dear people to my heart. I don't wanna be hurt again.

I guess that I have to overcome my fears if I wanna find my other half.