Today,
I will vote against the so-called constitution, hoping that most Egyptians will
do the same. It's almost 2 years now after Jan 25th. Back then, I was filled
with terror, fear of the unknown, pride and absolute courage. I have not
participated in the protests as my family won't let me, but watching the events
so closely, I was amazed by what young people can do.
After
two years, all of my emotions have swept away except of terror. I remember on
February 12th 2011, I wrote on Facebook saying "begad te3ebt men
kotr el tafkeer :S Euff!". A Lebanese acquaintance, whom I could not stand
for so many reasons, asked bluntly "What's wrong? You should be
celebrating?" referring to the fact that I should be happy that Mubarak
was toppled. Feeling totally upset that a "non-Egyptian" was telling
me about how I should feel just because she thought she knew it all about a
country that she visits once or twice a year for mere fun, I was so harsh on
her and explained that we all should be cautious of what's ahead of us and that
we should not let our emotions and joy distract us from the things we want for
our country.
Smart as she was, she felt the disdain in my comments, so she ended up saying; "Poor you, you are just not used to change." I could have ignored her "simple" comment, but I pushed it again saying:
"If by constant changes, u mean having police, and militia wandering the streets and protecting people and taking over policemen's roles, I guess u r right. We r not used to this. Coz we r used to stability. Even if, u don't regard such previous stability as a real one, coz of the despotic regime that used to prevail, i can argue that at least the down-trodden classes had the privilege of wandering the streets trying to earn a living."
She didn't reply back. But, now, when I remember that conversation, it feels totally weird. On the one hand, my acquaintance was right about the fact that Egyptians were not used to change and I was right too about my fears. However, I guess that I owe someone an apology or is it that "we" as Egyptians owe ourselves an apology when we just could not protect something precious like the revolution.
In the past two years, many storms have swept away Egypt and everyone's life here. My ideas are random and unorganized, but I'm just sad about what's happening now with Egyptians more than ready to kill fellow Egyptians who just disagree with their opinions.
May God bless this country!
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